Two for the price of one

Day 356 Friday 21st December 3.9 miles : miles to date 2384

As today is the end of the world, I thought it best to get my brief running sojourn in at lunchtime, in case the roads were busy later, what with the world exlpoding. I kept it easy and light, banging in a nonchalant peramble around the mean streerts of tinsel town Berko.

Those predicting a sudden apocalypse must have been disappointed early doors, as the morning devleped like any other. Ceremonial fires burned as the sun rose over the steps of the main pyramid at the Mayan ruins of Chichen Itza today, reaching what many believe is the conclusion of a 5,125-year cycle in the Mayan calendar. Thats almost as long as this running streak, or at least it feels like it at times.

The end of the calender has been interpreted as the prophetic moment the world ends. The peeps gathered in the Mayan city must have been well cheesed off that they didn't perish in an all consuming fireball. I suspect they also only bought a one way ticket to get there, so the taxi services must be doing a roaring trade.That having been said, I'm off out tonight for a Mexican meal with the Born Agains, so I suspect I will awake on the morrow feeling like the world has indeed come to an end.

Day 357 Saturday 22nd December 4.4 miles : miles to date 2388.4

Tis the season to get trollied, la la al la la, le la la la and boy I did last night. As predicted, the world didn't come to an end although I feel like it has following a night with the Born Agains.  I did the usual stuff when trollied. Burn quite a lot of my chest hair with a lighter, pebble dash the garden, lay on the patio floor in my t-shirt in the early cold hours and, er, go for a run.

I can honestly say the one thing I have never done before whilst under the weather in the early hours of the morning, is stick the go slow daps on and run around the village. It was just a bizarre experience, running whilst essentially hammered. It was a case of trying to focus on the road and not fall down, dodge the taxi's and make it home before it got light. I averaged 11.26 per mile, so not quite my normal pace but heck, the run's done for the day and I can now recover at leisure before we got out again. Tonight.

Oh dear, I can feel a repeat performance emerging as we are only going next door. Now I know it's a good thing to hide someone's car keys to stop them driving when trollied, but I can't say I have ever heard of someone hiding six pairs of running shoes?

AAAAAARRGGGGHHHHHH....

Day 355 Thursday 20th December 5.9 miles : miles to date 2380.1 AAAAAARGGGHHHHH. Eleven blooming days to go and Fi is going to make me take a day off. I'll be honest, on balance I just don't want to. Today was the perfect reason why. We spent the day at Harry Potter Studio tour, London. Which was in Watford. London, really? I digress. Having done the Potterphille stuff, we braved the M1 at rush hour and arrived home tired and in need of a sit down. Would I have gone out for a run in the dark and rain (eh Philip Horan) if I wasn't on the streak? I am fairly sure the answer would be no. Instead, we arrived home and to take account of the rain, I put my shorts on (eh Phil) and just went straight out. I was going to do maybe three miles and then the legs awoke, the long play kicked in and all of a sudden I was off for a close to six miler and feeling like I could have doubled it. The hardest thing when not on a streak to run, was mostly just starting. Once away, on the whole it slips into place. I had to cut short for the obligatory card game and obviously the standard beer in the shower (if you really haven't tried it yet, you just have to. Once). I did find out that beer and shaving foam don't mix, so stick to the shower. I did try to get Fi to go for a run with me, but there was something in the way she looked at me that said, no way and if you try to get me to go I will actually kill you. I took the hint and did a Billy.

soft lad sleep's in

Day 354 Wednesday 19th December 10.1 miles : miles to date 2374.2 Philip Horan put a shout out earlier on the internet looking for some company. He also wanted someone to run with, so we set up a time for an 8 miler. Forty minutes before the off, the sensitive soft lad, called to say he was pulling out as it was raining (no jokes please). Rain in England in the winter. Who would have thought it? I took pity on the pour soul and told him I wouldn't hold it against him (again no jokes please) and he should tuck himself up in a nice warm, snuggly wuggly blankie. I set off a bit later in, er, the dry from Clophill and proceeded to run through around five villages, keeping it slow and steady in the, er, dry before heading over to soft lad's hood (apologies, young person's speak for urban dwelling area). At around the seven mile mark, I ran past his house. I decided against calling in to make sure he was wrapped up in cotton wool, as it was gone 9pm and I assumed he was tucked up with his teddy. Or wearing his wife's. Being the real man's, man's man that I am, I headed off into the darkness for a few extra miles, finally before forced back through lack of food all day and in need of a beer, having been tempted by running past literally fourteen pubs and numerous take aways on route. I do feel a tad sorry for the wee fella. Having not run, he missed the best reward possible after a ten miler in the dark and,er, dry. A can of Welsh wine of course in the shower (not the same shower, no jokes please). The amber nectar never tastes better than when mixing it in with cold limbs, hot water and steam. I even felt a tad adventurous tonight. I lathered up the barnet with shampoo and enjoyed half a jar with the sud's still in. Rebel, I know.

Numbers

Day 353 Tuesday 18th December 4.8 miles : miles to date 2364.1 Tonight's little jaunt was all about the numbers and the timetable;- 17.53 - change in the luxury of the office 17.55 - leave late and drive like Meatloaf as coaching 18.27 - arrive at club 18.28 - another luxury - a No.1 inside 18.30 - start running; session was 15secs x2, 30 x 2, 45 x 2, 1 min x 2, 2 min x2, 3 min x 2 , 4 min x 2 with half time recoveries 19.17 - watch Ste Hartley and Stephen Morales No. 1 outside (tut tut) 19.28 - stop session missing last two 4 min efforts 19.28 - abuse from whippets who thought I was bailing 19.30 - jump in car and leave Flitwick 19.36 - strip naked, put air condition on full and drive 19.42 - stop car, put whistle back on and stop sweating 19.59 - arrive at Wagamma's for 50th birthday meal (only 30 minutes late) 23:47 - write diary Despite having to cut the session short, I was able to bang in a few miles towards the target which is now so close I can almost count the minutes. I have become worried about picking up an injury, which is partly why I didn't pan it at the session and spent almost the entire time some distance off the lad's coat tails. The route we took was quite dark in places on the pavement and my finishing fever just made me slow, along with the apparent lack of fitness since party weekend number one just gone. With party weekend number two on its way, I fear my hard fought fitness levels are going to be hammered. Luckily enough, I only have three days over Christmas self navigating 82 odd miles across likely sodden, desolate, cold, wet, windy and undulating country side with Satnav, punctuated with beer stops at any hostellerie we may happen upon mid run. This is going to be the British ultra boys version of the Medoc Marathon, save we wont do it in fancy dress and will drink pints of brew such as Buster Nut Brown Ale, Badonk-A-Dunkel Port or Hoptimus Prime (all real). I can't wait!

Dap rage!!

Day 352 Monday 17th December 5 miles : miles to date 2359.3

Its confession time. I suffered from a case of go fast dap rage on tonight's little effort. After two days of bingeing, I needed to put in a faster run to remind the Earnies how to do it.
I put the long play onto fast twitch mode, donned the head torch and began motoring up the highway. I quickly slipped into pace mode and battled the 

head wind, puffing a little in truth at a pace I wouldn't normally expect. As I ran on, the weekends festivities were clearly impacting on my fitness and the beverage belly did feel a tad rotund.
I kept my focus and ran around a set of shops when bang, it happened. A bloke in a car could clearly seeing me running at pace towards him and rather than wait for me to cross a very small car park entrance, he turned right into my path. I was watching him and checked my pace. Having done so, he then stopped right in the middle of the entrance blocking me. I just lost it for a nano second and shouted very loudly to ''MOVE ITTTTT'', before diverting my energy back to the run, side stepping the back of the death trap like J.P.R. William's and charging on.
I muttered to myself for a mile, before the instructions of Salt n' Pepper made me push it, push it real good. Just like Ant and Dec, I can never tell those two apart. I did have to slow in the second half, as despite the head gear, it was too dark and dangerous to go flat out although I did put in an average of sub seven minute mile pace, which I'l happily take after the weekend beer and food fest and tonight's conditions. I had better not mention which village I was in just in case the car driver knew me, but I can say that the Forest centre was dark again tonight. Opps, given it away.

post party run slow down

Day 351 Sunday 16th December 9.3 miles : miles to date 2354.3

This old blokes body just can't party like its 1999 anymore. A hefty all you can eat buffet last night was followed by a huge slab of stilton at David Morley's place and more left over chinese when I eventually arrived back home.
There was no way I was going to run miles today although the 2500 target meant I had to get something in

 the bank. I set off on the paper round chase course, helping my daughter deliver a few before heading off into the blue yonder not entirely sure where I was going or how far.
I meandered around the village before heading off towards the rather swollen river Great Ouse. I didn't have the long play with me, I just tried to chill out, enjoy the scenery and for once, I dodged the puddles and the mud at least at the start. I took as many country paths I could find, so inevitably the mud made its mark at the end. It was a case of just getting the job done today, with limited athletic benefit.
It's BBC sports personality of the year tonight. I'm getting slightly anxious as no one has called to let me know when I'm going to pick up the award. Or how I'm going to get to the venue, which is 200 miles away and, er, its started. Crumbs, its possible I've missed the cut. Again. They clearly don't know I've won the paper round race both times of asking. Bar humbug.

Christmas party run toooo

Day 350 Saturday 14th December 4.2 miles : miles to date 2345 After last nights partying, today's run was always going to be short and squeezed into what ever gap I could find, before I head out tonight with a group of blokes who like playing with funny shaped balls. I headed over to Bedford Park run, which had been cancelled this morning for no obvious reason. The course was clear and I lapped the park four times, overtaking a lady a few times as I did so. After starting slowly, my hung over feeling subsided and I started motoring, partly due to the need to pick Jimbo up from watching the mighty Blues trounce the once mighty Neath. I was flying by the end and the woman I passed must have experienced the Doppler Effect. This is the change in frequency of a wave (or other periodic event) for an observer moving relative to its source. It is commonly heard when a vehicle sounding a siren or horn approaches, passes, and recedes from an observer. The received frequency is higher (compared to the emitted frequency) during the approach, it is identical at the instant of passing by, and it is lower during the recession. Whilst I didn't have a siren, I was pushing hard in sections and for once was breathing quite hard. Right, time to get the party pants back on and over eat at a Chinese buffet with the boy wonder and the rest of the rugby crew. It is Christmas after all.